Welcome to another exciting edition of the groom's corner. This week I would like to discuss something we all have to put up with eventually: THE BACHELOR PARTY.
That's right, guys. You as the groom may not have much control over your own bachelor party, but there are a few things that you should be aware of that ARE under your control.
TIMING. A day or two before the wedding? I don't think so ... Keep at least a week of space between the big day and the last hoorah.
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(Remember how well that worked out for THESE guys?)
CONTENT. Sure, you can't control what will happen exactly, and who wants to, right? It's your party, so you should get some surprises. But if you and your fiancee agree on little things, like for instance no strip joints or heavy drinking, then you need to make sure your groomsmen aren't going to set you up to receive this look in the morning...
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(You know, it always startles me how "The Look" is equally as scary no matter what century it's from. It draws out the "I'm sorry, hunny!" from a man's lips no matter the date. Scary...)
CHANGE OF PLANS. Now, I understand that the guys will try to throw you a curve ball and go against what you say can happen. My best man is conspiring to make my fiancee hate me as we speak, and I get it. We're men, and messing up (intentionally or not) is what we do.
However, if the guys try to switch out the plans at the last minute (strippers can be hired fast and cheap, so I hear ...) then you ALWAYS have the right to simply walk away. If your friends were dumb enough not to listen when you said no heavy drinking, then they can deal with the wasted money themselves. Don't risk the angry bride that close to the wedding, my friends. It isn't worth it.
However, if the guys try to switch out the plans at the last minute (strippers can be hired fast and cheap, so I hear ...) then you ALWAYS have the right to simply walk away. If your friends were dumb enough not to listen when you said no heavy drinking, then they can deal with the wasted money themselves. Don't risk the angry bride that close to the wedding, my friends. It isn't worth it.
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(ACTUAL PICTURE of an angry bride on the day of her wedding. You love her, yes, but do you not also fear her?)*
These are just the first few things that you can control. More will come to me in time, as more will come to you, I am sure. Remember this, above all else:
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(You... Have... The POWER!!!)
{TASK OF THE WEEK} Tell your groomsmen to read this blog post, then tell them that you have the power in a dramatic way. Let them know that to deny your power is to incur the wrath of the bride, and that it's on their head if she does get angry. Then kiss your fiancee. After that display of manliness, she's gonna need a kiss.
*NOT AN ACTUAL BRIDAL PICTURE (But it'd be cool, right?)
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