{My Wedding} Defining a wedding mantra

Talking to wedding coordinators lately has really gotten me to think. They ask me about my goals for my wedding, my vision for my wedding, etc., and I show them pictures, like:

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But pictures really only say so much. I know the old saying goes, “Pictures are worth a thousand words,” but in weddings I’m not sure that’s completely true.

Yes, these pictures tell you what I hope my venue will look like, sans wedding guests who don’t always fit into the aesthetic design. But, the thing is, weddings are all about those guests, or at least about the relationships the couple has with them.

When I started planning my wedding, I googled “how to cut wedding costs.” At the top of almost every list was instructions to cut your guest list. That wasn’t an option for me. Weddings are big in my family, and I have a BIG family. So does my fiance. We did cut a little (omitted most adult cousins, all second cousins, great aunts and uncles, etc.), but we still are at 170 guests, and there isn’t any more cutting that we can do with guiltless minds.

But we could cut other things. We cut the lighting budget by choosing to have our wedding outside in the afternoon. We cut the music budget almost completely by choosing to use an iPod and sound system (although we have since been graciously offered music services from friends). We cut the catering budget in half (or more) by deciding to have hors d’ouevres and desserts instead of a full meal.

We want our wedding to be a celebration of love and life, not a show. We want to celebrate our relationship at the same time as celebrating our relationships with our friends and our family. I want people to leave saying, “Wow. I just learned so much about my the people at that event,” rather than come in saying, “Wow. This looks amazing!”

Our wedding mantra, then, is “Relationships, then aesthetics.”

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